I didn’t post yesterday on Facebook. Even though it was a Sunday and it would have been our second U.S. wedding anniversary. After all I thought I’d be done with posting when 2016 ended, especially since posting at times felt so very painful for me. But now I feel weird. Like I’m abandoning you. Not keeping you “alive” through the memories I’ve been sharing all year long. My posts kept you present and offered a point of connection for those who knew you/us to stay connected. Not writing and choosing a photo leaves a vacuum.
January 1, 2015 we got officially married in Massachusetts. Two years ago. Originally it wasn’t planned like that at all. After all we’d already been married in Germany so we had planned to do the MA marriage as part of our 10-year recommitment ceremony in May. But then, in December, I went to legal services at UMass and spoke with a lawyer. Once I told them that we were planning on traveling to Germany in June, they recommended strongly to get married much sooner. That way we could start the green card application process and we wouldn’t have to worry about the visa. You weren’t happy about that, neither was I but within days we got the paperwork and set the date. It was a brief ceremony with just our boys and Linda (officiating) and Roger being there. Fine with us since it was basically just a formality.
Looking back, Wen, you were only able to sponsor me for the green card because we listened to the lawyer’s advice. Had we not, you would have been dead by the time we finally got our immigration interview. What a strange thought, hm? Yes, it took that long! Even though we sent off the paperwork in January, the interview didn’t happen until September 21 – 9 months later! So if we had started the process in June…
We never even got to celebrate our first U.S. wedding anniversary. But then it never felt like one anyhow. Yet, this date marks another important point in our together-life. It reminds me of how 2015 became a year of “folding in,” “finishing up,” spending every minute we could with each other, doing more things than ever before during a year, and in doing so, creating so many memories. Looking back it sometimes feels like our souls (not our human selves) knew we didn’t have time to lose that year.