Eerie semblance of normalcy

Eerie NormalcyPeople tell you, life goes on…

And expect you to join back in.

Keep up.

Move along.

So I try.

Try so hard.

All the time.

And there are these moments

Of eerie semblance of normalcy.

When things seem to be like they used to be.

Family night.

Barbecuing.

Sitting around the table in our sun room.

Steaks and burgers.

Easy talk.

Sipping wine.

Eerie semblance of normalcy.

Someone looking on from the outside wouldn’t notice…

THAT SOMETHING IS AMISS.

THAT SOMEONE IS MISSING.

YOU.

Yet, subliminal gloominess runs through the picture.

Inside I feel the writhing pain of grief rearing up.

Coiled up for the past few weeks, it begins to unfurl and slice through me again.

No longer I can keep it in check.

Under control.

The pain wants to be felt.

The grief wants to be let out and acknowledged.

Sobbing I curl up.

Stifle my screams in the pillow.

The book with the photos of us pressed against my chest.

The eerie semblance of normalcy revealed as what it is…

AN ILLUSION.

Because there is no normal…

WITHOUT YOU.

 

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